A New Start

Today is the first day of Spring!!!
I want to keep positivity in mind in everything I do and use this page to record my thoughts as I am a stay at home mom and sometimes baby J just isn't that interested in what his mommy has to say lol and sometimes lets face it, it's just not appropriate to lay all my thoughts on the lil guy :D So here we are in my newly acquired blog that I dedicate to happiness, hope and loving God with all my might!!
Sometimes I'm at my peak and things are the greatest,.. those are the times I love to share. But other times   when I'm gloomy and feeling hopeless I tend to push others away and retreat into my thoughts. I know this can be very unhealthy for me, mainly cause I have been diagnosed with PTSD in the past and I know that the mind can be a powerful ally or opponent. I love my family, my husband of whom is very dear to my heart and my children Alysha, Andreas, Aiden, Josiah and baby belly of whom is yet to come in June. Right now we are treading new territories as we are embarking on moving to a new part of town in a new atmosphere surrounded by new faces and cultures, not sure what to expect. Feeling nervous and excited at the same time. My mind is at full speed wondering 1000 questions and hoping for the best and knowing well that we are in God's hands no matter and He will see us through safely. On another note is my marriage, we just recently celebrated our 1 year anniversary on the 11th and we seem to be doing great, however there are some shadows that seem to be lurking and every so often I have to sigh because I know more than I wish I did and it hurts. I'm sad at the moment regarding an issue that has a foundation within my husbands roots and I can't seem to get over this hurt. I've prayed and given it to God but apparently not completely cause there still remains an ache in the pit of my heart and my stomach feels queasy just thinking of it... I try not to fret and worry as I know this is sinful and it only arouses evil... I guess you could say the devil is attacking our marriage and he's trying to win us over! I told my husband that what doesn't break us will only make us stronger,... I'm ready to do counseling with my husband and thankfully he's agreed, so that's a plus. I try to always look at the positive side of everything and keep my head up,... So there's my venting for the day! I hope to continue with my blog and let it evolve into a useful tool for whatever purpose I can find worthy. I also hope to find a means of making extra funds as I am a stay at home mom and I would love to contribute financially in any way possible for the better of my family <3

I love rain and though some people find it a symbol of sadness and gloominess I tend to see it as a different aspect, washing away all the hurt and pain and sadness. I'm reminding myself that God allows storms in our lives in order for us to lean on Him. He strengthens us in our time of greatest need and loves us unconditionally. "The storms that threaten to destroy us God will use to strengthen us." -Our Daily Bread

"He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." -Matt 5:45

On a better note, today my baby sister turns 16 beautiful years in the making!!! I called her this morning and let her know I love her and asked her if she liked her birthday gift lol my gift to her was letting my baby J spend the night and today with her. Not really I have a gift for her and need to wrap it and make her a card... for the peoples that are most special I prefer to make cards instead of purchasing them lol funny cause that just brings up the point that I bought my sweety's birthday card as she turned 14 just the other day on the 16th :D I love both them girls and I am so proud of the lil women they are growing into!