Storms
I often describe my depression as the fog, I hide from the sun, love rainy days and awe at the sight of the beautiful night sky..
Sometimes the thought of breathing is necessary, only because I forget to do it involuntarily. I lose my breath in moments of over burden, stress, heartache, hurt or rejection and I must remember to breathe. In my lifetime I've had my share of storms - dark, violent, cold places you think you will never return from, storms that sweep you away and change the way you see the world, storms so full of nightmares you sometimes forget, but only to help ease the constant battle in your mind.. Only I haven't actually forgotten it seems, more like written it in invisible ink only to be revealed by the certain light, in that way it stays hidden. Storms come and go and in that way storms are constant, like change. Our lives are a series of seasons and change, in it there is a time for everything.
I admit I personally have not been wise with my time, I have procrastinated and let myself forget that I am one of a kind. I am made for a purpose and with a purpose... In all my life's storms there has always been one constant factor, God. I am aware that there are those that do not believe in God, but I do. I do and I love Him My Creator had been with me since I can remember, He introduced Himself to me when I was lost and alone, a child abandoned and unloved it seemed. He's always been there with me throughout every teardrop, heartache and storm, in this way I have never been alone.
I know there are those that are in danger, hurting and lost, even being persecuted for feeling the way I do, loving God. I know my God is mightier than any storms that I may have. I know there is a heaven and I know there is a hell, (hell is for real too) and I thankfully know of His loving gift of forgiveness and salvation. I am a sinner, but I am also forgiven and loved far more than I could ever imagine. That in itself is beautiful, we love because He first loved us
I'm also aware of false teachings that are spreading like wildfires, I've witnessed WMSCOG proclaim a mother God and my loved ones fall victim. Ive lost dear loved ones in unimaginable ways and endured so much pain it's at times unbearable, but still I remain. It is not by my own strength, I owe it all to Jesus.
Today my heart is heavy because it marks the anniversary that my only big sister was taken from this world in a nightmarish and horrific manner,..
My heart is shattered and my thoughts are scattered, but these are some of my storms.
Sometimes the thought of breathing is necessary, only because I forget to do it involuntarily. I lose my breath in moments of over burden, stress, heartache, hurt or rejection and I must remember to breathe. In my lifetime I've had my share of storms - dark, violent, cold places you think you will never return from, storms that sweep you away and change the way you see the world, storms so full of nightmares you sometimes forget, but only to help ease the constant battle in your mind.. Only I haven't actually forgotten it seems, more like written it in invisible ink only to be revealed by the certain light, in that way it stays hidden. Storms come and go and in that way storms are constant, like change. Our lives are a series of seasons and change, in it there is a time for everything.
I admit I personally have not been wise with my time, I have procrastinated and let myself forget that I am one of a kind. I am made for a purpose and with a purpose... In all my life's storms there has always been one constant factor, God. I am aware that there are those that do not believe in God, but I do. I do and I love Him My Creator had been with me since I can remember, He introduced Himself to me when I was lost and alone, a child abandoned and unloved it seemed. He's always been there with me throughout every teardrop, heartache and storm, in this way I have never been alone.
I know there are those that are in danger, hurting and lost, even being persecuted for feeling the way I do, loving God. I know my God is mightier than any storms that I may have. I know there is a heaven and I know there is a hell, (hell is for real too) and I thankfully know of His loving gift of forgiveness and salvation. I am a sinner, but I am also forgiven and loved far more than I could ever imagine. That in itself is beautiful, we love because He first loved us
I'm also aware of false teachings that are spreading like wildfires, I've witnessed WMSCOG proclaim a mother God and my loved ones fall victim. Ive lost dear loved ones in unimaginable ways and endured so much pain it's at times unbearable, but still I remain. It is not by my own strength, I owe it all to Jesus.
Today my heart is heavy because it marks the anniversary that my only big sister was taken from this world in a nightmarish and horrific manner,..
My heart is shattered and my thoughts are scattered, but these are some of my storms.
Comments
Post a Comment