Confusion sets in....
You may see me as a happy individual with a good life, but I like you have my ups and downs. I am definitely not perfect, it's the way I was made, I'm only human. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry but I always endure and carry on through the never.
I don't like to use my foundation as an excuse to be a failure and I take responsibility for my actions. If I have a problem I let you know, not to stir up trouble, but instead to solve a hindrance. Sometimes I have to take a step back for a breather because let's face it, sometimes everything is just too much to bear. I grew up as a "have not" and to this day I still carry a bit of resentment, though I try to hide it and not let others see the envy that builds within me. Sometimes I'm screaming inside, tearing to get out, sometimes I am my own worse enemy and I keep myself captive. When I think too much is when I find myself at my darkest. Why must darkness consume me? Why can I not be that which I wish to be and more. Sometimes I realize I am the only bondage that holds me back.. I used to think if I were a better person that people would like me more, that my mom would love and my dad would come home. I see now that I was an intense dreamer filled with hope and boundless dreams. I wanted to be a performer when I was a little girl, then I wanted to be a teacher, and after that I wanted to be an artist. Strange how I seemed to be more sure of my path when I was smaller... Sometimes I find myself so confused about everything around me and I have no answers to my queries. I feel lost! Sometimes I just want to cry and never stop... As a child I can remember being very sensitive to those around me. I was unknowing of the world and the nature of people.
I don't like to use my foundation as an excuse to be a failure and I take responsibility for my actions. If I have a problem I let you know, not to stir up trouble, but instead to solve a hindrance. Sometimes I have to take a step back for a breather because let's face it, sometimes everything is just too much to bear. I grew up as a "have not" and to this day I still carry a bit of resentment, though I try to hide it and not let others see the envy that builds within me. Sometimes I'm screaming inside, tearing to get out, sometimes I am my own worse enemy and I keep myself captive. When I think too much is when I find myself at my darkest. Why must darkness consume me? Why can I not be that which I wish to be and more. Sometimes I realize I am the only bondage that holds me back.. I used to think if I were a better person that people would like me more, that my mom would love and my dad would come home. I see now that I was an intense dreamer filled with hope and boundless dreams. I wanted to be a performer when I was a little girl, then I wanted to be a teacher, and after that I wanted to be an artist. Strange how I seemed to be more sure of my path when I was smaller... Sometimes I find myself so confused about everything around me and I have no answers to my queries. I feel lost! Sometimes I just want to cry and never stop... As a child I can remember being very sensitive to those around me. I was unknowing of the world and the nature of people.
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