My thoughts and dreams,...

Deep Breaths, heart still beating... Life is too short to not inhale the life that's meant for you,... I woke up this morning with running on my mind,.. I didn't want to get out of bed, but there was so much in my head. Everything around me is changing, inside and out of my heart and home,  chaotic at times but my heart still beats.

May 23, 2020 I got lost today in the bosque but I wasn’t alone. It was scary because there was a realization that I have no control. A feeling of helplessness and a loss of direction. It’s silly to think that had I not had a destination in mind, I would never had been able to claim being lost to begin with. The brush was thickening all around as we navigated through paths barely seen yet very much felt I found myself losing things along the way, this revelation did not arrive until later. When it finally came time to cross a water path, it was here that I found myself running into harm's way, he told me to be careful but I guess I couldn't help myself. I got a cut as I made a path for those behind me in my care, after that first cut more cuts came all on one hand because I finally realized my hand was bleeding. It was a thorn bush of a tree that got its repayment to me for interrupting his serene homestead of solace, broken with my mere presence. I squeezed my ...

Tomorrow’s today is never promised. A day of age where everyone is quarantined A sickness is spreading Tomorrow’s not guaranteed Fear flows faster as each day grows  People in their hearts, they go cold It no longer matters if your young or old, People are losing self control Guns blazing all around, Helicopters heard from the ground Government continues to tell white lies Children are still hungry, nobody hears their cries Body counts are rising, Nobody can stop the pain.

A blank screen another thought. Headspace is a reflection of my imperfection, Can’t seem to get it straight. I want to scream and shout my anger, sometimes I wish my sun would set. Instead I sit and wonder why as a tear rolls down my eye... Can’t ever let them see me cry. Can’t seem to maintain, everything done in vain it seems, I try to explain but I’m nothing but a walking mistake. When will I break? Life isn’t a such piece of cake, how much will it take, everything’s at stake. Trying to get some peace of mind,... Positivity and encouragement, are my crime Negativity only brings me down feels like I’m drowning Trying not to wear this frown, remembering along the way  to śtraighten my crown.. I know I say can't alot, but in retrospect I can And I will overcome 🖤

When  my heart is broken, it could be like the ocean... Living in this age, we’re  like animals caged. Everything is staged, can’t look past the rage. I see with my eyes until everything’s hazed, til I’m forced to see everything blurry as if in ablaze. Not seeing clearly, not thinking right. Everything I’ve known has been taken from sight. Like being indigenous all over again,.. this time the whole country is holding my hand. Were walking together, together alone... Surviving each day in a new world unknown. A country in debt, run on lies and regrets, stories untold as the repercussions unfold. So full of schemes, running out of means, a recipe for disaster, what’s to come after? Sending us cash, the silence before the storm, Will we be once more conformed... Distractions while conducting interactions has always been the master plan,.. the lots of masses could never understand, so they send you money and people are dying, America's in tears, the electio...

He doesnt know what it means when I gave him my love. I could look into his eyes and see the stars, I wasn't afraid,  I could speak my words into his heart. Then one day it all went away, our hearts drifted astray.  I used to yearn to tell him everything,  share my goals, my dreams, my aspirations. It's faded now, I have no reason to tell.

🖤So much to say and no idea where to start. We’ll just say this is a message from the heart. Every year it seems we fall closer apart. Who are we, who are even you and I? Our identity has been ostracized, throughout the ages our bloodline has been degraded. I’ve read of revolutions, disillusions, confusions and heartache. Everything about this country's history remains a mystery to me. Why do they believed you can own people, land, and everything to be for the taking? They claim to have found us? Even though we were never lost. Our ancestors knew there would be a cost, now look at all that is truly lost.. the water is polluted, species have become extinct, our atmosphere is globally warming, there’s talk of a WWIII. Our people, our homes,  our culture and language have constantly been raided. Nonody talks about the native segregation or the attempted genocide.  Savage is what my bloodline has been labeled, a reason to take our sacred lands, all at a co...